Soul Sculpting Project: To Reach a Goal Week 2: Harmony or Conflict?
I am in the thick of creating a goal. The target: a goal I have had for 18 years, but have not achieved.
Do you have one of those?
Why am I taking this goal on again? Because it is important to me and this year I am enlisting help: goal-setting experts from the field of psychology. To reach a goal I need to begin by creating an excellent goal.
Here is my first check list.
- Is my goal high? Yes
- Is my goal approach rather than avoidance? Yes
- Is my goal-MY goal, rather than one created by others for me? Yes
- Does my goal represent my values? Yes
- Is my goal measurable? Will I know when I reach it? Yes
- Is my goal non-conflicting with my other goals? NO
Ah ha, the goal I am pursuing does conflict with another goal I am pursuing. This may be related to the difficulty I have had in reaching this goal for 18 years.
What is a Conflicting Goal? Do you also have one?
- If our #1 goal is to spend more time relating to our family.
- and our #2 goal is to do a solo sail around the world; we have conflicting goals.
- If our #1 goal is to exercise every morning and our #2 goal is to connect every morning with friends at the pastry/coffee shop: we have conflicting goals.
Studies show that when we have two conflicting goals it is hard to make progress on either one.
In my case my #2 conflicting goal always wins out over my #1 goal. But this win comes at the huge price of neglecting my #1 goal. To make progress on my #1 goal I need to address this conflict.
First Strategy to address conflicting goal: Create goals that are Leveraged.
What is a Leveraged Goal? It is when one goal enhances the accomplishment of another goal.
- If our #1 goal is to increase our family’s health and our #2 goal is to take a class on healthy eating we have leveraged goals.
Can we change a conflicting goal into a leveraged one?
- #1 goal: spend more time relating to our family. #2 goal: do a solo sail around the world. If we change the #2 goal into doing a family sail around the world we now have leveraged goals.
- #1 goal: exercise every morning. #2 goal: connect every morning with friends at the pastry/coffee shop: If we change the location of the pastry/coffee shop to the park and the action of eating pastries to taking a walk together, we now have leveraged goals.
Second Strategy to address conflicting goals: Create Goals that are Harmonious
What is a Harmonious Goal? Harmonious goals do not interfere with each other.
- If our #1 goal is to exercise every morning and our goal #2 is to connect with friends after work every afternoon we now have two harmonious goals. They may not help one another, as leveraged goals do, but they don’t interfere with one another.
Leveraged goals are more powerful than harmonious goals. But I haven’t figured out how to turn my #2 goal into a goal that leverages my #1 goal. So the strategy I am using for my two conflicting goals is to make them harmonious. This is a complex challenge for me. I am employing a lot of trial and error and prayer.
Soul Sculpting Goal Creation Check List
____My goal is high.
____My goal is approach rather than avoidance.
____My goal is MY goal, rather than one created by others for me.
____My goal represent my values.
____My goal is measurable? I will know when I reach it.
____My goal is non-conflicting with my other goals.
Want to join me in turning dreams into goals?